life become worse..

I have long time din express my feeling at here,
so aweful...life..
haihhzz...

too many things had happened in tis past few week...
now im start to talk less with friends and housemate..
there is too many conflict between human...
too many things to do...too many things to think..too many action to take..too many steps to goes..a long journey to go..

once assigment has come, conflict has come around too...
when have assigment to do, there is out of disturb for everyone..once have people to disturb, my fire will come up very strong..even bomba also cant help...
there is 15 assingment for me to do in 2month times...
5 assignment to design, im not expert...
5 assignment to do research...
5 final year project to do, which i cannot giv much comment, bcause there is a person to lead, and what she said is the final decision...
so whatever you do, she just consider you didnt put effort..what for...?!?!

as i said, when im doing assignment, please don't disturb me..
but, there is someone that make me 'phek chek'..i will just answer you unreasonable...i don't care what you think about me..well, that's me..

we all had busy for ptptn loan from the first day of first sem, the ptptn staff now only come to collect our data, and we need to wake up early morning to Q-up, o else need to waste time to wait them...because of the ptptn, a lot of student has skip their class...poor thing...

End of the sem already, i thought i can start to concerntrate in my revision, now have to think how to write a good resume.. 3rd sem only have the industry training, but now have to submit everything...

really need to grow up..
now im realize that how a selfish human being is..
now im realize that how compete in this society...
now im realize that how the home away taste is...
now im realize that i don't really need a friend, i need a good partner or family member..
friend will betray you, friend will backstep you, friends will not support you alwayz...
thats what im see in reality....they only will utilize you in the right time, and you become a 'sui yu' for them...is there any point to ask a friend to help?!?! they are not willing to help...

The exam coming soon, and i havent ready all the things, the notes... please don fail me,i don wan to repeat...god bless me....

i was so scare, and felt dissapointed in my life..i waste to much time in somewhere else, i really really need to rearrange my life...i wish there is someone beside me to encourage me..give me support..listen to me...talk with me....
there is someone that alwayz concern me..

My current Life-New Environment

Since im stay at kampar study,i should noe how my life goes on for 2 yrs..
it nt tat terrible as outside ppl said,it still fun...haha..
at least i feel comfort here,even i don have air-conditional,no own transport,no old fren and many...but i still can survive..

I meet many new frens...all my classmate pretty n handsome,is truth...wen i gt photo wit them,i will post up it..haha...they r so healpful,kind n frenly..almost everynite we will go dinner r2gather..
thx helena n jack alwayz fetch me go makan..thx my housemate stms will lend me bicycle...
i feel gud wit tat all...even all my housemate r younger den me,but i still so close wit them...

d way i survive here is to fulfill my free time wit hk series....n also my.......assignment-.-..
gosh..its oni the 1 week,i have 5 subject,5 ind assignment,4 group assignment...phewww....
tats killing me..

Alot of things nid 2 apply...PTPTN loan,muet class,apply lift for convo..and many2 more...d stupid UTAR seperate all d department,nid 2 walk so far from a block 2 another block,is lik cross a big lake,n the weather is freaking hot...jz past 2 days gt rain oni...i think wen i go bac penang,u all will c an african appear in front of u..don get shock..is me...-.-


also, all d note nid 2 download,o copy in class...no instant notes 4 now,we r nt diploma anymore..
is BACHELOR IN MASS COMM OF PR..look pro huh...haha....everything mz do it myself...lik very suffer wit no transport 2 go print,photostat..but luckily classmate willing 2 help...

AND...i have a very 'fai cai's classmate,is a guy...we called him 'envelope'...long story 4 his name..
he is handsome..defenetely....but,brainless...he is humor,but..is brainless...he is hard working,but...si ai bin....hahha...lik a lot of -ve value on him...but he act is a kind person la...
at least,he gt help me 2 photostat some notes....thx anyway la...


My stupid shcedule is i no nid attend class from sat 12pm- tues 3.3o..so free on tat time,tat really make me sick....hav no where 2 go..but hav a lot of assignment waiting 4 me..
gosh....must be much more hard workin d...

Calvin my course gt design,draw out sth....ishh...help me cal,i noe u gud in it..depends on u d ya...haha....

tats my life 4 2weeks...nt boring,jz tired....will try 2 get more activity...haha...go around wit fren...woohoo...

-i know i can do it,as long as don effect by fren-

1st Day at Kampar

My 1st day,31th May...goin 2 move in my new rental house..all my housemate are....faundation-.-..mean all younger den me...swt.... I was busy 2 clean my room till evening,my best fren fetch me up to go dinner...haha...wen i back,housemate borrow me a bicycle,ride trough d whole area i stay...nt bad...even im very tired,wen nite i was think a lot n finally slp 1 hour den awake,cnt slp anymore..so i take up my laptop n watch hk series n eat some bread,coz damn hungry....haha...start my suffer life here,cz im no transport,i cnt go anywhere....hiahzz..

The 2nd day morning,my best fren corene accompany me go settle all my thing...tis Utar,nice 2 c,nt nice 2 study...d fees was 1k+ per subject,if 5sub so is 5k+...haihzz...is much more expensive den private coll..n all the stuff are nt gud in thier workin position...everythin lik slow motion,pek chek wit them...n every department are too dinstict,walk lik hell...bad experience settle things here...

Monday,i was no class,so i stay at hostel being in the daze...summore don have cable,luckily my housemate lend me coz she goin 2 coll...haha...i was so sick wit the borin life here...is ok,cz jz the 1st day at here...2moro goin 2 meet all my classmate..haha...

Im old here,so better complete tis 2yrs,cabut org...!!!!haha

_god bless me in tis pass 2 yrs,meet gud guy,gud in everything_

Futher Study

Past week,i took my last paper..im glad,cz i pass it..Finally,Im Graduate!!!!

WooHoo...so happy...!!!!

Now,i need to concentrate to go more...which is continue 2 bachelor...sounds pro..haha..idiot!!

Is only degree,nt master...but..proud d la...no nid go till master..mad..!!!!

Now,im busy 2 apply all..d Utar's form,room application form,search tis n tat..now im only realise how complicated 2 do all this...summore need 2 satify all my provement...hmmm..luckily i call my cousin before i go Ipoh,o else waste my energy n time 2 there...haha...

-Learn To Grow Up-

God, im 21th d,i need to learn n do myself d,learn 2 be more independent...

ya,i should...but,beside tat i need some support 2...wit more support i only got confident 2 do more...i scare i meet bad ppl,so i will nt so kind 2 anyone from 1st as usual...haha...'dao' lo..

2 more weeks,i study alone,stay alone,go anywhere alone...

New Life,New style..even there is very boring...but,if there allow me 2 teach dance,i would lik 2!!At least,sth 2 let me do...i bring my intelligent of dance 2 there,make d life colourful...I wan my U-life colourful...!!!

-learn 2 be independent,god bless me-

Be model

After i back from KL,my studio few ppl had an appointment wit a photographer..

Is a new studio,name....ermmm...i forgot d..so sorry...but they r so kind n nice...

act thye find us 2 be their model,4 their promotion and opening i think...they wan find dancer so we caught their attention...cz we pretty n handsome..haha...she told us so..and we have few style n im still new in tis,i dono how 2 post,sampai d photographer teach me how 2 post..

haha..

So lucky i have free photoshooting...And they wan me 2 be their next project's model,go outdoor 1..haha..so happy...wen i receive d CD,im sure i will post up 2 share who read my blog...haha...

-I enjoy this part of my life-^^

Kl traning trip

long time din post a blog,so 2day i wan sekali gus post all story of mine...

haha...

last week i went 2 KL 4 dance personal training...

05/05 is my final exam,so i cant save money 2 follow my teacher's car go,i use 2 spend some money 4 a bus la..

but luckily,my bro's fren noe d konsortium tauke,he giv me normal price 2 sit double decker...wohoo...it's fun..gt tx,but spoilt d-.-..gt massage chair 2..

n i kind 2 everybody cz is all citizen,family...i dono is tat all 'ang mo chek' ppl more polite o wat..i use 2 giv older go toilet 1st,wen come out she said 'thank you'..if i meet an old ppl wit study 'deng lang chek',thy wont said it so...haha...my opinion....

N a malay family went 4 kl holiday,i use 2 help them 2 pick sth from floor..wen go 2 bus,she treat me eat curry puff...haha...a fun trip..

Wen i reach puduraya,i wait 4 my aunty 2 fetch me up...wow,i've been wait 4 30mins..u noe,kl very jam...she use 2 treat me eat n fetch me long way 2 sunway..im so thankful 2 her,althought im nt as close as my bro 2 her...

haha...

i went 2 urban groove 2 have their classes,n nite i have a personal tranin from silvia..wat a gud girl style dancer tat i ever had seem...

we trainin until midnite,den we stay at fiin's bf house..it sooooo far from sunway,at selagor-.-..so paiseh 2 him,n so thank you....THANK YOU SHIN..^^

The 2nd day of trainin,we wake up at 11 sth,den we go 1-utama,cz d studio oni will open at 5pm..we call 4 taxi,its so expensive,around rm30 go 2 1U,but boh huat..have 2 do so...So swt,we went 2 eat tempayaki..woo,its a lot,and me damn full..haha..

At nite,so suddenly they said wan go gymnastic,we r so suprise...we never did tat,have 2 roll,backflip and every move tat lik gymna...so cool....my bone,my muscle damn pain after all of tis...

The 3rd day,we wake up at 1sth,cz we are very very tired..after all of d preparation,we call 4 taxi..my god,we hav been waoit 3 more den 1hour d taxi oni come,and we did 3 call 2 taxi station,n callin server ask me 'do not call them if they din come'..wt...they lik so 'dao' n do wan 2 do business d...

And we get cheat by d driver...go in hav 2 pay rm2,den by meter,n toll is oni rm0.80..we go sunway is oni rm15 plus d rm2...he count us rm19..ask him,he lik blur blur..he cheat us said,call rm2,toll they count rm1..wat the...hope he don hav business...haha..bad ler..

We go walk around...we go Wendy's fast food restaurant,nt tat gud..i giv 2 stars oni..haha...and i hav buy a lot of things at inQbox...all d 'nv ren wo zui da's product....haha...they wan 2 go reggae class at 6,so we rush bac 2 studio...wen we reach,d studio was close,and we make a call,they said they performing,nt tat early...we are so angry,they din told us so..den 9sth we go back,they said no trainin 2nite...so shit...den we ask fiin's bf cum fetch us again...so swt...

The next day morning,we bac 2 penang d...b4 leave,i n sam go d hawker at pudu bus station take out breakfast...i recommend u guys can go 2 eat...d food gud,n cheap...even is rm5,but protion very big..!!!

-I would like 2 have a more preparation trip-

Is that Correct to me?!?

Last nite i went to his house to watch movie 2gather..from 1st we wan hang out,but he lazy..den since his house near my house so im ok wit it...

He is still gt feeling 2 me,so as I..

Dono am I correct get back wit him...but few days already,wen im think of him i will sad,even he is nt good enough..Previous day,we chat at msn...we said sth,n i said u wont noe my feeling bout tis few days w/t him,cz he is so lengan..he said who said tat?!?!he gt miss me also...

n I really get shock...did he?!?!? tats d point make us wan 2 hang out,but finally is go his house watch dl movie...haha..

He is still luv me,so as I..Juz d attitude we had,we nid 2 change...nid 2 to improve...because I don wan to be a selfish women in a relationship,so as I wan from him...

The process start 2 change,is from me,if i can influnce him,we both get happiness..

Noe him so well,he cnt 4 now,im change myself 4 now...

n i admit,stms i hav bad attitude 2....

but nt at all is my fault...

so from now,i nid 2 learn 'how to talk','how to act'....hey, im PR...i must be pro in it...

think Positive in anyway...

=*Bless me*=

Finally..^^

Wow...

After take care of d studio for half day..

nite i went there 2 have a personal training...

Im so happy 2 heard tis news..

they told me tat i can no nid 2 continue wit d training wit 1 yr contract,but i at least nid 2 continue half yr,means tat i left 3month ..

yiipee...no nid 2 travel so often,no nid 2 waste time n make myself damn tired...

although it really my dream,but i have 2 fulfill an ordinary human needs..

which is at least study till degree n have a stabil job instead of play play with my future...

haha...im nt mean anything..jz tis is wat i think...

Dance, mayb is a part time job 4 me in the future...i must have a job, teach class jz 2 release my pressure,n continue 2 dance(cz it my hobby also dream)..but dream is dream,realistic is realistic..pls don make it confuse...

Dance is my life,but i have 2 differentiate what is i really need,and wat is don't..!!

=PEACE=

Am I..?!?!

Today is monday,i suppose to go jaga studio half day...

when im arrived there,i nid to clean tis place...

kena sapu lantai,mop,clean all d mirror...

susah la niii...

seldom so hard workin to do tis kind of stuff...lolx...

Bcz of sth happend b4,so my relation wit them r not so gud..

I oromise myself tat not to talk 2 much with them,cz i noe their pattern la..

n i noe some1 is backstap me,so i better don talk so much...

noon tat,they arrived...

I also dono y,im jz talk a lot to them,i realise tat i talk so much la...

but,watever la...

jz dono how 2 control myself to not talk so much...

Anyone can teach me to not talk so much wit them..?!?!?!

there was unsolve prob wit them...

i don wan join d training anymore,cz 2 expensive 4 me...

n im goin 2 leave tis place go summore 2 proceed my study..

i told them, they jz ask me 2 continue cz they hard to tell d In charge..

but if i go study,i don wan every weekends travel here n there..

very expensive...i don lik 2 drive long distance 2...

how....?!?!

to tell them.....

Dissapointed on YOU!!

I noe my relationship will nt longer,cz i hav a bf tat don even care n respect me,appreciate me...
laz nite we on the phone n all i wan is find a way 2 solve the prob..but he is jz so escape d prob between us..n finally,we decide 2 seperate..n he said he can be best fren,i told him i don wan 2 be,cz im noe him well,n d frenship tat he had...i told him d prob between us,n he jz keep givin me reason tat he din did any mistake..im so upset...

Did he really care me,concern me,luve me,appreciate me?!?!?
im a gal,nid all tis...a partner is 4 wat?
his Ans:..........

I said: a partner can sharin wit ur sadness,happiness,pressure and everything..
he said: find fren 2 share also can..(wt...)

I ask: y u don wan jz giv me more luv n concern?!?!
His ans: cz u wan me do tis,i wont follow..i use my way,don need 2 say so much!!

there still have many Q,n tis 3 is most ridiculous Ans 4 me!!!

i can really imagine,wat i hav is tis kind of bf...
so dissapointed on him,i dono how his future gf can really accept all of tis...
Jz lik u get sth tat u wan already,n jz put it aside lik a toy...
summore,he is so caculative in money n everythin..there is nth gud left 4 me..all is wat he don wan n giv it 2 me...even sth delicious,he will eat 1st n nt left...
He too lov money,till find narrow way 2 earn more n more small money jz lik aunty...

goshhhh..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! horrible..!!
i jz have a sucks relationship..

*girls,pls open ur eyes n use long time 2 observe his attitude ,manner and etc..mr.right will be there for you..